Of Lies and Roses
by BitterCandies
Summary: Ne, you're Uchiha Sasuke, right? I...kinda need a favour. I need you to go out with me." AU, SasuNaru.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Me no own anything.

**A/N:Er...review please? Oh, and this story contains Yaoi; BoyXBoy. No like no read. Enjoy:)**

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There was silence all around the table.

In a way, Uzumaki Naruto had never liked silence. Sure, _silence was golden _afterall, but sometimes - sometimes it was worse than screaming or yelling. It felt as though he was suffocating from some invisible mute force, unable to voice out anything.

Like now.

Uzumaki Naruto stared at his pink-haired female friend, unable to keep the appalled expression from his usual grin. Haruno Sakura, vice-president of Student Council, smiled mischievously back, a light twinkling in those apple-green eyes of hers.

"...You can't be serious." Naruto had finally managed to choke out, after a pregnant pause. The parther-in-crime next to Sakura laughed, flicking her platinum blonde hair over her shoulder, she exclaimed,"I admit, this has got to be one of your more brilliant ideas, fore-head girl."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "My ideas are always brilliant, Ino-pig. 'Sides, Naruto, you need to get a social life for once. Working everyday at the ramen shop isn't good for your health - both physical and emotional."

The said blonde glared at her. "I'll have you know that ramen is good for my health - at least emotionally. It makes me feel happy..."

The brunette to Sakura's right snorted loudly. "Yes, Naruto. But talking to the old man and your fellow ramen isn't going to expand your social circle or something; one day you might get arrested for speaking to inanimate objects."

"Kiba-kun!" The Hyuuga heiress reprimanded her boyfriend gently. "N-Naruto-kun," she continued, turning back to the blonde,"Sakura-chan only wishes you well. Afterall, you never know what can happen. That person might just be The One." she smiled at him sweetly, in hope of encouragement.

A red head sitting next to Naruto heaved a sigh. Turning his jade-green eyes into Naruto's own azure ones, Gaara No Sabaku spoke quietly,"There wouldn't be much harm done, seeing that you're only going out with another person."

Naruto gaped at him. "You can't be serious Gaara! And I thought you were on my side!"

Shrugging, the quiet anti-social kid ignored Naruto's whines and began to prod the remains of his school lunch with a fork, wondering if they were still edible. Upon deeming it inedible, he nonchalantly passed his plate over to Chouji, who scraped the food off with ill-disguised enthusiasm.

Tenten giggled slightly as Sakura pushed a cardboard box filled with strips of paper to Naruto. "Here," she said, "put your hand in. And don't you dare look. We filled the strips of paper with the names of students all the way from freshman to the seniors in our school; both male and female. Now, take your pick!"

Kiba had to bite the insides of his cheeks to refrain from laughing - the blonde looked as though he was about to be sentenced to an execution.

Gingerly, Naruto's fingers fumbled along with the countless pieces of paper in the box(how long did Sakura manage to do this?) and pulled out a random one. "Ah..." Naruto stared at the piece of paper in between his fingers, as though hoping that it would suddenly catch fire.

In an instant, before he could unfold it, the paper was whisked away and Yamanaka Ino got a hold of it, smoothing out the slight wrinkles. He gulped when Ino's baby-blue eyes grew wide, then passed it to Sakura, whose eyes grew even wider.

"So..do I get to know the unlucky person?" Asked Naruto tentatively. He was getting uncomfortable with the hushed whispers between the two girls sitting opposite him. Shikamaru muttered something the lines of 'Troublesome women' and got elbowed in the gut by Ino.

Hyuuga Neji frowned at this spectacle. It was rare to see Tenten get so excited, right after peeking at the name. Snatching the accursed bit of torn paper, Neji handed it to Naruto, who grinned gratefully at him before he too, stared at it in shock.

Scrawled in a messy handwriting, presumblely Sakura's, was the name famous in and out of Konoha High.

_Uchiha Sasuke_.

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**A/N: Hehe...short, I know. Love it? Hate it? Lemme know what ya'll think:) **


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Me no- urgh. You get it. I'll sit in a corner and feel depressed now.

**A/N: Oh me gosh, I love you guys^^ thanks for reviewing! And please continue to do so!**

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Uchiha Sasuke was never one to like socializing with the many other youths of his age. He could not, to be put simply, be bothered. All this - this 'interacting' and 'making new friends' were just so...so...

So damn boring. And tiring.

Girls fawned over him, and no doubt he had often wondered why on earth had they not given up on their pathetic crushes and countless confessions and along with their numerous pink envelopes dipped in perfume addressed to _'Dear Sasuke-sama'_ in glittery pen ink.

They just seemed to love him all the more, with every word he hurled at them, with every rejection, colder than the last.

And that was the reason why Uchiha Sasuke did not like people in general. Well, at least the girls.

And that was also the reason why he saw no need of helping other people(or even _talking _to them, for that matter) in fear of getting more stalkers that tried to wait outside his house in the driveway and stare forlornly at his window until he set the dogs on them.

_But,_ he thought, inwardly smirking to himself as he looked at the boy in front of him, _this was interesting_.

* * *

Naruto scratched his head. He wasn't used to wandering along the upper class men's classroom; most of the older students either ignored him when he asked for directions or they just smirked and oohed at him. Idiots.

He cursed Sakura and her so-called brilliant plan for him to go on a "date" with some older guy. He didn't even know how The Uchiha Sasuke looked like anyway(always being hidden by those blood-thirsty girls), so being here during his lunch hour was a plain dang waste of his precious time. Not to mention he was getting slightly irritated.

The blonde cautiously approached a dark-haired senior, who was leaning against the wall, looking bored. Naruto figured that since he wasn't doing anything nor did he look particularly mean, he'd probably go ask him.

"Um..."

On a closer inspection, Naruto realised that the senior was rather good-looking; with his silky ebony bangs swept at the sides of his pale face that seemed as though he had not seen sunlight in quite a while. The senior raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"...Do you know where Uchiha Sasuke is?" Naruto blurted out in one-go, nervously anticipating the other's response. He won't like be the others, right? Hopefully...

The dark-haired boy looked surprised for a moment. Then, as quickly as it came, his expression turned bored again. "Uchiha Sasuke? Nah. Why do you want to look for him anyway?" His eyes seemed to be searching for something in Naruto's eyes.

Naruto contemplated it for a while. "I have to pass a message to him," He finally said, after a long pause.

"Hm..." The older student nodded his head, and turned to leave. "Well, I hope you can find him. Good luck." And with that, he walked away from Naruto, disappearing into the crowds of students.

The blonde sophmore pouted as he watched him go. "Now what?" He grumbled to himself as he continued walking along the corridor, trying to evade the small groups of students that hung around there, chattering and laughing.

He suddenly felt someone ruffle his blonde hair rather affectionately, and he looked up to find Temari and Kankuro grinning at him. "Yo, kiddo," Temari greeted, her green eyes sparkling with mischief. "Temari-neechan! Kankuro-niichan! I haven't seen you in like, forever!" Naruto said, looking surprised.

Kankuro shrugged. "We were preparing for the winter examinations. Sorry we couldn't make it to the party, kid." Naruto nodded in understanding.

"So...why're you here anyway?" Temari asked, slightly suspicious. "You couldn't have come all the way here just to meet us." Kankuro frowned at his sibling's comment, but Naruto laughed it off. "Well...I was looking for some guy."

"Some guy?" The sand siblings echoed in unison.

"Yeah," Naruto replied, feeling a tad uncomfortable. "His name was Uchiha Sasuke." The blonde nodded again, as if to confirm his words. Temari and her brother gaped at him. "_The _Uchiha Sasuke?"

"I suppose so. But I've never seen him before 'cause I just transferred, remember? So I went around asking other people." Naruto wrinkled his nose. "How can you _stand_ being with such people anyway? Most of them were morons and refused to answer my question. And they had the nerve to laugh at _me_!"

Kankuro sighed. "They have a right to do so, seeing that Uchiha Sasuke _is_ the most popular guy in _and _out of this school. And that your uniform indicates that you're a sophomore."

"Oh." Was all Naruto could say.

"So, any luck whatsoever?" Temari inquired. Naruto shrugged hopelessly. "There was this senior who was kind enough to talk to me...either that, or he was bored, but whatever." The dirty-blonde looked interested. "What did he say?"

"He said that he didn't know where Uchiha Sasuke was." The blonde deadpanned.

Temari felt pity for the younger blonde, who looked cross and irritated now. "Why do you want to look for him anyway?" She asked, a thought suddenly occurring to her. To her surprise, Naruto's face turned slightly pink. "I-It's all Sakura's fault," he mumbled, turning away. "she made me pick a random person to...to go out with."

Temari smirked to herself. Trust that Haruno to come up with something like this.

Kankuro suddenly asked, "How did that senior you talked to look like, anyway?" Naruto bit his lip, trying to remember the dark-haired boy's features. "...He had black hair and eyes, I guess. He also had really, really pale skin. I wonder when was the last time he went out...?" He added, wincing. "He was definitely pale, though."

Both Kankuro and Temari blinked.

"That could be-"

"I know, but-"

"But what, Temari? It's obviously-"

"You missed out a vital point! That could also be Sai, for your information."

"Shit, you're right."

"I always am."

Naruto stared at the two siblings, confused. Then, Kankuro snapped his fingers together. "I got it! Oi, kid, what hairstyle did that senior have?" Naruto blinked slowly. "He had bangs at the sides of his face..."

Temari rolled her eyes. "More information, please."

The blonde scratched his head. "Eh...I don't really remember anything else. Sorry."

Temari sighed in frustration. "Guess we can't help you then, kiddo. You'd better get to class soon - the bell will go off in a few minutes." Naruto nodded, and gave them a lop-sided grin. "Catch ya'll later then," he waved energetically at them and sprinted off.

"Tem...do you think it was-" Kankuro started, while following his sister back to their respective classes. She shot her brother a look that instantly silenced him. "I don't know."

"But you saw the kid! He'll have a hard time persuading the Uchiha."

"...Maybe. Who knows."

* * *

Naruto fell into his seat right before the bell sounded shrilly, panting slightly from all that running. Sakura was sitting diagonally from where he was, and the blonde felt a piece of balled up paper hit his head gently.

Picking up the crumpled note, he smoothed it out to recognise Sakura's messy handwriting. _So how was it?_ It said.

Naruto rolled his eyes and started to scribble an answer. _No shit,_ he answered. _It was terrible_. _There was only one guy who'd even talk to me...but that isn't the point. Oh yeah, and I met Kankuro and Temari too._

He crumpled up the note in his hand and aimed it at Sakura's desk. The paper landed in front of her book with perfect accuracy.

He turned around to see Kakashi-sensei entering the room. "Yo," the silver-haired man greeted. "I'm your substitute for today. Do want you want, as long as you don't disturb me." The response was instantaneous. Paper planes flew into the air and slowly, all of the students were gathered in their own groups of friends.

"What do you mean by _that_?!"

Kiba winced, rubbing his ear. "Chill, Sakura, you don't have to shriek into my ear...and I thought Naruto was the loud one." Said girl responded by punching Kiba in the face. Naruto winced at the sight. That has got to hurt.

"I couldn't find the guy. End of story. Seriously, Sakura-chan, why are you making such a huge fuss over it anyway?" Naruto sighed, sinking into the chair. Kiba nodded in silent agreement when Sakura wasn't looking.

Yamnaka Ino snapped at the both of them. "Fore-head girl wants to help you with your pathetic life, so why can't you at least be appreciative?! And besides...you get the privilidge of asking the Uchiha out!"

"Yeah, and get rejected with the rest of the female population. And worse part is, I'm not _even_ female!"

"...Naruto, shut up if you want to live." Kiba whispered in the blonde's ear. Sakura was giving off bad vibes. Naruto ignored the warning. "Come on, Sakura-chan! You, of all people should know Uchiha Sasuke! I mean, I haven't seen the guy or met the guy before, but from what I've heard, he's an ice-bitch."

Ino rubbed her temples furiously. Could that blonde idiot get any stupider? This was so not the time to insult the school's hottest guy, let alone that he had actually been childhood friends with Haruno. And that stupid fore-head girl, Ino fumed silently, had to ruin all that by her stupid confession.

The platinum blonde glanced at her best friend. She was looking quite upset by Naruto's blunt remarks about her 'Dearest Sasuke-kun'. Either that, or she was just irritated with the blonde's failure. Then, the pink-haired brainaic spoke up.

"I'll find him, and then you can ask him."

Kiba hid a grin; this time there was no escape for Uzumaki Naruto. Especially when there was a certain pink-head around.

* * *

Naruto wiped the counter for the fifth time; he glared at the stubborn stains on the polished metal. The rag in his hand was not helping. At all. Just then, he heard a voice calling,"Table 4, one miso ramen!"

"I got it, old man!" He yelled back, throwing the rag and the counter another dirty glance before he took the bowl of steaming noodles freshly prepared by Teuchi Ichiraku.

"Here's your order," Naruto grinned at the dark-haired boy before he realised that it was actually the same senior that he had met. "Ah, it's you!" He exclaimed, his azure eyes widening. The customer smiled slightly, "It would seem so."

Naruto surveyed the older male carefully; his porcelain skin seemed as pale as Naruto had last seen it. Which was only a few hours ago. His midnight-black hair fell gracefully around his delicate jaw structure, and the back of it was spiked up but it didn't look as though he used gel. Naruto admitted this to himself --the boy was really kinda pretty.

"First time here?" Naruto asked, letting his eyes travel across the room. So far no customers were here yet.

"Hn."

The blonde took it as a yes, for the boy seemed to be preoccupied with his food. "The ramen's good, right? I fell in love with the old man's cooking when I first came." Naruto realised that he was rambling again, but the other did not seem to mind. "I wonder, how does Uchiha Sasuke look like? I mean, when I first transferred to Konoha, he was all Sakura-chan could talk about."

Naruto heaved a small sigh. "Half of the female population in the school adores him...and the other half idolizes him. And somehow, they keep hoping that he'd go out with them, even though from what the rumors say that he's never gone on a date before. And Sakura-chan just had to make things even more complicated by forcing me to-"

"Why are you so concerned with Uchiha Sasuke?"

That question caught Naruto unawares. "Well," He said, rubbing the back of his neck,"Sakura-chan told me to- you know who Haruno Sakura is, right? The super-cute vice president of Student Council. Anyways, she...um..wanted me to 'socialise' and stuff, so she made me pick out some random guy."

"And that random guy happened to be Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Bingo. I'm supposed to like, try and hang out with him or something."

To the blonde's surprise, the raven burst into laughter. It sounded nice, unlike some other people's, but it was kinda scratchy, as though the user had not been using it for a long time. "Man, that is rich," The senior finally said, having calmed himself down. "trust Sakura to come up with something like that." He added.

Naruto frowned. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," The other boy replied. Upon glancing at the blonde's disbelieving expression, he raised his hands up in mock surrender. "seriously! It's just that...it's so ironic." Naruto felt more confused than anything. "Huh?"

"Never mind." The brunet wiped the corners of his mouth delicately and placed the bill onto the table and stood up, smiling a faint smile. "It was nice knowing you..."

"Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto supplied.

"....Naruto. See you later." The boy waved and started to walk away. Naruto stood there simply, watching his retreating back as he disappeared into the dim lighting of Konoha, along with the rest of people bustling across the busy streets.

It was only then did Naruto realise with a jolt that he had forgotten to ask the boy his name.

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**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Lemme know by clicking on that review button:)**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto.

**A/N: Review! Review! Review!XD**

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It was a Saturday.

Just any plain old Saturday, with the same nice weather as always, the cool breeze whispering in the trees, with the same people that usually ran to the trains cussing loudly with bread in their mouth. Saturdays were nice. They were meant for sleeping in till afternoon, playing video games and ignoring the piles of awaiting undone homework.

Yes, Saturdays were supposedly the best day of the week. One day right after Friday, but not late enough to be Sunday.

Naruto never thought that he'd hate this particular day so much.

Dressed in an denim jacket over an airy dress whose end seemed to float whenever the wind blew, no matter how gently, the blonde glared at anyone who'd even dare so much as to stare at him. It wasn't his fault. And his scalp itched from wearing that stupid, impossibly long wig the very same color as his hair.

Naruto admitted this to himself; he did look like a girl no matter what he did.

A very scary girl indeed.

Plucking at the jacket a little, Naruto walked slowly towards the lake in Konoha park; his feet hurt from wearing those heels that a certain pink head insisted upon wearing. The blonde stared at his reflection in the water. A blonde girl, dressed in a cute dress that was rather popular nowadays with a denium jacket over it stared back.

She was kinda cute, Naruto grudging admitted once again. Then the thought occurred to him: he thought that he looked cute. Cute. As in girly-girly-pinkish-unicorns-and-butterflies-and-rainbow-sugary-goodness kind of cute.

Ew.

The girl in the water had impossibly bright blue eyes, brighter than Naruto's. Well, that was to be expected. He was wearing blue contacts. Naruto blew frustratedly at his bangs. The girl in the water did the same. He glared at the girl, as hard as Uzumaki Naruto could. The girl glared right back, with the same feriocity.

"Why?" The blonde finally voiced out. "Why am I following some hare-brained scheme of Sakura-chan's?! Why was it that when she begged me with those puppy-eyes, I agreed? Why did I get myself in this mess!" An old couple walking nearby stared at Naruto and quickly hobbled as fast as they could, away from him.

_'It's just one time, Naruto. Pretty please? Just one date, if you can just get one 'offical' date with Sasuke, then I'll let you go. And the wig will help, 'cause I'm not sure of the Uchiha's sexual preferences. It's best if you go as a girl. And don't give me that look.' _

He glared at the pebbles near his feet, tempted to kick one of them into the water. But this was Sakura's pair of prized heels bought with her own savings from her part-time nursing job, and Naruto knew that she'd murder him if he got even a scratch on them. He knew it. Because she said so herself.

He remembered Sakura inviting Karin over to her 'all girls' slumber party excluding the one reluctant blonde boy'. Karin was the head of 'Prince Sasuke Fanclub' and obviously all she did talk about that night was Sasuke, Sasuke, and more Sasuke. But Sakura was enjoying herself too, and got a hell lot of tips from Karin about 'Prince Sasuke'.

Like how he actually liked tomatoes, or that he took a stroll in the park at precisely 3:30p.m. on Saturdays, the very route that Naruto was walking along, like how he liked the color crimson, etc, etc.

Naruto wondered why on Earth didn't the guy change any of his habits. Karin explained to him that this was the thirty-fourth time that the raven had tried to shake them off, failed, then gave up. Naruto pitied the guy.

The blonde sighed and tottered unsteadily towards the nearest bench. There, he sank into the hard wood in relief, pulling off those heels and his jacket. The dress was thin, and he shivered slightly, but he was tired of pretending to be ladylike. And besides, there was still no sign of the Uchiha.

Leaving the things on the bench, Naruto ran along with wet grass barefooted, feeling goosebumps as the cold air blew against his skin. The dress was, thankfully, short enough to escape grass stains. It would be unexplainable for Naruto to turn up at Sakura's house again, with grass stains on the pinkette's dress and no record of any meeting with the raven.

Naruto had scratched his head and thought on how Uchiha Sasuke would look like. But Karin just dismissed it and told him to look for the hottest guy with dark hair, and sinfully black eyes. 'And make sure,' She added, 'that it isn't Sai.'

Sai. He had heard that name twice, from Temari and now Karin. The latter had told him that Sai looked uncannily alike to Sasuke, but the former was so obviously unlike the other in every way, looks aside.

_'Eh? How different?' Naruto asked. 'Very diffirent.'_ was the only answer the blonde had gotten back.

Now, waiting here in the famous park of Konoha, Naruto sat back onto the bench, or rather, he simply lay flat on the bench, which was what any girl would've tried avoiding. But to the heck with girly mannerisms and proper sitting positions! Naruto was tired of waiting for Uchiha Sasuke, tired of wearing this stupid dress.

He wanted to go home and eat ramen. Even though he'd only been waiting for fifteen minutes.

And then, he hastily slipped on Sakura's heels and pulled on the jacket and walked as quickly as possible (which was not quick at all, considering all that wobbling) and tried to think of a possible excuse to evade Sakura. For now. And that those heels of hers...he couldn't really balance in those things...

The blonde's eyes widened as he fell to the floor with a soft 'thump', crying out in surprise and pain. He looked at his right ankle, and nervously jerked it, only to bite his lip as a jolt of pain ran up his leg. Shit.

Shitshitshit.

What now? It was a rather deserted location in the park, with practically no one around. Naruto cursed the lack of people along with Sasuke. He was starting to panic. Gingerly, he tested his other foot. Thank God that it was alright, Naruto thought, getting up slowly. He pulled off the heels in one hand and hopped a little.

_Kami-sama_, he prayed, _please help me_. And boy, he knew that he looked ridicluous in that position.

Kami-sama's answer to the blonde's prayer came in the form of a dark-haired boy strolling by.

* * *

_He stared at him. There was a long pause, interupted only by the whirling of fans above them._

_And then he smiled._

_It was forced, they both knew it was fake, but Sai didn't care nonetheless, and neither did his companion. "I'm asking you," The other said emotionlessly as always, "as a friend."_

_Sai almost cracked up._

_"So..." He started, trying to divert the Uchiha from staring suspiciously into his eyes,"you want me to pretend to be you?" he wondered if he could actually get any blackmail out of this. No, Sai wasn't a closet sadist at heart. He just liked to see people suffer._

_"Yes." The answer was straight and direct, and for a brief moment, Sai regretted his decision. But the moment faded away and the artist smiled fakely once again at Sasuke. He got a scowl in return._

_"Oh, and Sasuke?" He added as the other raven turned to leave,"that pink-haired nightmare that told you to meet up this friend of hers is an absolute hag."_

_The youngest Uchiha looked unconcerned. "Well, if you say so," He replied. _

* * *

Sai raised his eyebows slightly at the sight of a blonde girl standing barefooted on one leg. There was an ugly purplish bruise on her right ankle. Then his eyes travelled to the pair of heels in the girl's hands. No doubt she had fallen while walking in those shoes.

Sai sighed softly. He really hated dealing with girls that tried to meet up with the Uchiha. What he hated even more was that he had to go solve all those hags' problems, instead of his best friend, who was compelled to sometimes running away. Hags.

He could see the blonde's eyes light up when she saw him, and waved rather ungracefully for a girl, Sai might have liked to add. Which was strange, really. Most girls did not walk around barefooted and wave at their 'princes' while their heels were still in their hands. He waved back at the girl, uncertain of whether to help her or not.

He decided that he would. And if by any chance(the probabililty was high) that blonde would turn out to be that Uzumaki kid that pink terror had told the Uchiha about, then so be it.

"Need some help?" He asked the girl, smiling. But the girl did not need to know that it was fake. But Sai knew that from that small crease around her eyebows, she probably did.

"Ain't it obvious?" The flat-chested blonde snapped back. Sai wondered if all girls were like that. No wonder the Uchiha didn't like girls. But he wasn't compelled to tell those raging whores that threw themselves at his best friend's feet that the said best friend was actually...well, he preferred guys.

The raven shrugged. Then he did what all the other guys in sappy, romantic films would do - he squatted down and turned his head towards the blonde. "I'll carry you," He offered(reluctantly).

As he suspected, the girl accepted his offer - what else could she do, anyway? - and clambered clumsily onto his back. He was almost surprised to find that the blonde was a hell lot heavier than expected.

"Who're you, anyway?" He muttered under his breath, but was sure that the blonde caught it anyway.

"...Uzumaki Narut-ko. You?"

Sai smiled to himself, the lie coming to his tongue easily. "Uchiha Sasuke." Feeling the intake of breath from behind, he knew that he had struck the jackpot. And there was something off about this girl too...

Oh yeah.

He had felt odd when carrying the girl before; realisation hit him after a few metres. Girls don't have dicks. As simple as that. Sai wasn't stupid, he was definately not going to ask the girl, 'Hey, how come you're actually a guy?!'..well, that came across his mind a few times, he was tempted to ask her-him but he was also interested.

Why would anyone dress up as a girl? That wasn't the question he was looking for. What is his intention? Was probably the question. A transvesite...probably.

And to think that that Ugly Pink Hag actually tried introducing her(him) to the Uchiha! If the blonde had never actually sprained his ankle, Sai mused, he probably wouldn't have known.

"Your house?" He asked, sounding bored. He knew that the blonde was getting more and more agitated by the pattern of his breathing, and irregular heartbeats. "J-Just around the corner." He nodded slightly.

A tall building came into view and the blonde hesitantly asked him to put him down. Sai obeyed without complaint; this was also what all of those actors did in those drama serials. The boy stared at his feet for a moment.

"Ne," The blonde girl(guy) asked, "you're Uchiha Sasuke, right? I...kinda need a favour."

"Favour?" Sai echoed. Oh, this was interesting.

The boy nodded firmly. "I need you to go out with me."

Sai looked at the other with interest; the Uchiha was going to have a fit if he'd heard what Sai was going to tell him. If Sai actually would tell him. If.

The Uchiha's expression would be priceless, for sure. The artist smirked to himself. "Okay," He replied cheerfully. Oh, the Uchiha was definately going to have a fit.

"Really?" The boy's blue eyes widened as his face lit up. Sai smiled and nodded.

And no, he wasn't agreeing to it because he wanted to see the Uchiha's expression. Sai wasn't a closet sadist at heart.

Really.

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**A/N: Okay...I know that this chappie might be confusing; so I'll explain it here : **

**Sakura asked Sasuke to go out with Naruto and he agreed, but he sent Sai in his place. So basically, Naruto (as Naruko) meets up Sai (as Sasuke). And they both don't know each other identities. But Sai is a tad smarter...and more sadistic...and we'll just leave it at that. It's really simple, actually. **


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

**A/N: Review?:)**

* * *

Haruno Sakura was not happy. At all. And the reason for that was sitting on the floor of her bedroom, reading some of those magazines she had recently bought with her own allowance.

And it was refusing to budge.

She glared at the blonde thing. The blonde thing ignored her and continued to flip broodily through the pages.

And Sakura thought she was the bad-tempered one. It wasn't her fault -- how the hell would she know that the idiot would trip, fall and sprain his ankle while wearing her super awesome kickass heels?

"Naruto." She made sure that her voice had a tinsy weeny layer of menace to it. The Uzumaki looked up.

_Finally_. Sakura had absolutely no idea on how the git could stay like that, for three hours.

"Was it that bad?" The pink-haired vice president of Student Council of Konoha High winced slightly when the blonde gave her an extremely blunt answer : "Terrible." And went back to reading the latest gossip in the glossy index.

Sakura sighed. "But you didn't actually meet him...or did you?"

A shrug. Naruto was pissed.

"I did."

"Oh, okay --wait... WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

The ramen lover scowled. "He saw me standing like some idiot bare-footed in the wet grass. Offered to carry me." The pinkette's eyes widened dramatically. It wasn't the Uchiha's usual behaviour! Afterall, she had known him personally for like, since pre-school?

"And then?" She prompted eagerly.

"He carried me." The blonde almost spat those three words. It was a huge blow to his manly ego. And that Naruto was kinda surprised that he could manage to carry him. He was pretty heavy, despite on how he looked. "When he dropped me near the apartment, I asked him out. Saves trouble, eh?"

Sakura gaped at her so-called best friend.

"What. Did. You. Say. To. Him?"

Naruto shrugged, looking unconcerned. "I told him that I needed a favour, for him to go out with me."

"...Are you serious?" Sakura blinked rapidly. It was either Naruto fibbing or the dark-haired boy having some personality transformation from seeing some psychiatrist.

Sakura always knew that psychiatrists were in fact, the most psycho of the lot. They were eeevil. Naruto rolled his blue eyes. "Obviously," he replied, sending her a mild glare as he said it.

"...And the way he kept on smiling was kinda creepy. I mean, who smiles all the dang time?"

Sakura froze. Literally.

"...Smiling...?"

* * *

"Uchiha."

"Sai," Greeted Sasuke with equally cold aloofness. It was a wonder why the two of them were best friends. Him, and Suigetsu. Sometimes, Sasuke wondered why on Earth did he associate with these kind of people. They were weird.

Especially Sai.

The artist pulled out a chair beside the scowling raven, and sank into it. "I met her," He said, his smile growing wider. "Uzumaki Naruko." Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. "And your point is...?"

All of a sudden, Sai leaned forward towards him, invading his personal space. Sasuke tried not to flinch, and remained where he was. "Uchiha," Sai breathed, "you're gay, right?" Sasuke stared back into those black pools that reflected himself. "You're supposed to be be my best friend," He replied, sounding bored. "You're supposed to know that."

"Aah."

Sasuke mentally rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the book he was previously reading. However, before he could get past the second paragraph, the paperback was snatched out of his hands and Sai snapped it shut.

"He's a cross-dressing fag. I think you'd like him." Smile, smile.

"What makes you so sure?" Scowl, scowl.

Sasuke was beginning to lose his patience. "You'll see to this-- 'cross-dressing fag' that you so dearly are concerned with. I, on the other hand, have other things that are far more important. Ja."

"Ja, Uchiha," Sai smiled again, briefly closing his eyes, as if to empathsize the smile.

_Uzumaki Naruko....I'll find out who you really are._

* * *

Naruto wiped the beads of perspiration starting to form at his forehead. The ramen stand was mostly empty, save for two young men sitting in a booth conversing in low voices. They were a rather odd pair; one was short and had flaming red hair, and lidded eyes that expressed boredom.

The other was at least a head taller than the shorter, with long, corn-colored hair and an azure eye peeking out from the long bangs. If it wasn't for his flat-chest, Naruto mused to himself, he might have thought that the other blonde was a girl.

Their voices had risen slightly; he could see the red head's eyes narrow even further, his eyes glaring straight at the blonde. The blonde's azure eye glared back with stunning ferocity; he too was opening and closing his mouth rapidly.

Naruto dared to venture close enough to them (under the pretense of wiping the nearest table next to theirs) to listen to their heated arguement. It sounded interesting, though.

"No, you dammed brat," The red head growled, "it wasn't like that. If you keep on insisting upon that stupid reasoning of yours that you conjured up in that pathetic shrivelled thing called your brain, you might as well fail the stupid class."

The blonde replied angrily,"No it isn't, un! Art is a blast!"

Naruto stared at his reflection on the surface of the table. Art...They're arguing about art...

Oh well.

"Oi, you, over there," Called the red head irritably, gesturing towards Naruto, "I want to pay the bill now." The blonde sent a deadly look to the red head. "No way, un! This time I'm paying!"

"Shut up, dammed brat! I'm going to have a headache."

Naruto stared at the both of them, scratching his head nervously. "So...erm...do you want your bill now?" The both of them turned to him at the same time; it kinda freaked him out.

"I'm paying." The short red-haired boy who looked no older than Naruto spoke up after a pause. The tone in his voice left the other two blondes silent. After exchanging a brief look with the other blonde, Naruto bowed quickly and collected the money. Something tugged at the back of his shirt just before he turned to go.

"I'm Deidara," The long-haired boy grinned at him. "and I'm sorry if my boyfriend was a prat." Naruto stared at him. And then proceeded to shake the blonde's hand.

"Uzumaki Naruto," He replied, smiling. "that red head was...?" He said boyfriend...

"Sasori. We're from the Akatsuki." Deidara said, turning around to check if the red head was still there. Naruto felt a jolt of surprise. The Akatsuki was probably one of the best colleges in Konoha. It was rumored that the lowest IQ rate of the students there were at least 150. Shikamaru was invited, apparently, but he refused.

Something along the lines of 'troublesome' and 'too much work'.

"Are you done?" A voice snapped. "I don't like waiting for other people." Deidara rolled his azure eye, and winked at Naruto. Whether it was a wink or just simply blinking, the blonde wasn't too sure. But he still waved them out of the door.

Naruto wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him. Out there, as the two figures, one short, one tall, gradually became smaller, he could've have almost sworn that they were holding hands.

He smiled dreamily. It was nice to be in love...

Speaking of love, he didn't understand why so many girls in Konoha High adored that Uchiha Sasuke. Quite frankly, he creeped Naruto out with his endlessly fake smiles that he liked to plaster onto his face. And Sakura looked really, really shocked when she heard his story. Because, according to the pink-haired girl, the 'Sasuke-kun' he met was definately not quite right.

Number one. He liked to scowl at everyone. So the creepy smiling was definitely off the list.

Number two. He wasn't likely to help just about anyone.

Number three. It was a high probablity that it could be the notorious Sai, the guy known as the Uchiha's best friend and renowned for the most number of slaps girls had given him thanks to his blunt and insensitive nature. And he liked to smile. Alot.

Number four. Not to mention the Uchiha would sometimes send Sai in his place instead of coming himself. The bastard.

So, as the pink brainaic had concluded, the chance of Naruto actually meeting Sai instead was about 99.999%.

Sometimes, Naruto wondered if she was invited to the Akatsuki too.

"Hn."

And when Naruto asked her about it, she tried to laugh it off that yes, they did ask her, but it wasn't important since she wanted to stay here with all of her friends - Naruto had never been more proud to call her his friend.

"Oi."

Naruto had never wanted to see her cry again, ever since her heartbreak over that stupid Uchiha. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why couldn't he see that Sakura-chan was ultra-super-nice, had a very, very, very pretty face and nice hair and an even nicer personality?!

Stupid Uchiha.

"...What?"

Oops. Did he say it out loud?

"Wha-" Naruto blinked furiously as he turned around quickly, almost stumbling, just in time to face an amused raven standing casually behind him. "I haven't the faintest idea of what you're doing," He said with a raised eyebrow, "but I thought I heard 'stupid Uchiha' come out from your mouth."

Naruto opened and closed his mouth for a few times, not knowing what to say.

The dark haired boy simply smirked slightly, then sat down at the nearest small table. "I'd like a miso ramen," He announced, staring straight at Naruto. The blonde squeaked and ran behind the counter for the order to come.

Setting the bowl of hot noodles in front of the raven, Naruto glanced around helplessly before looking down at the boy in front of him. The brunette raised his head to stare at him; th blonde realised, with a sinking feeling in his gut, that he wanted to him to sit down.

"Uh...hi."

"Hn."

Naruto mentally slapped himself. For the love of God, he didn't even know the guy's name! Did he dare ask it?

Why yes, yes of course.

Afterall, he'd told him his name-- so he should do the same!

Somewhere, in part of Naruto which was not covered in idiocy, whispered, great thinking, you moron. Find a sublter way.

And then -

The guy's kinda pretty.

...So maybe it was covered in idiocy as well. It didn't really matter anyway, for Naruto ignored everything that happened in his brain - it was less confusing that way.

"What's your name?" He blurted out. Oh great, Naruto. That's what you get for not listening to your brain. But it would have probably the same result anyway, so it doesn't matter much.

Silence met his question.

"W-Well, I wanted to know, 'cause I already told you mine and it would seem kinda rude to keep on refering you to 'oi' or 'hey' or 'you'...and I suppose that we're kinda like on friendly terms and such, so it wouldn't really hurt just to say so, b-but if you're offended and don't wanna tell, that's fine too. You know, anything's cool with me. Even a nickname will do."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a flush growing across his cheeks. The harder he tried willing it away, the stronger it came. Naruto grimanced silently to himself. Now the raven would think that he was so sort of weird little boy that worked at ramen stalls and liked to ramble alot of weird things.

And _blushed_ when asking customer's names.

Great. Just great.

The fair skinned boy gave him a slight tilt of his pink lips, which, for no rhyme or reason at all, made Naruto's heart pound a little faster than normal. "Okay." He sounded amused, thought Naruto rather crossly, but at least he wasn't that much of a bastard.

"So let's start over again!" Naruto grinned wildly, as he stuck out his hand. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, currently a sophomore at Konoha High, and loves ramen very much!" The other chuckled softly as he gently shook his hand.

"I'm Sai, currently a senior at Konoha High, and I like tomatoes."

Naruto stared at him, frozen.

"S-Sai?" He croaked.

He saw dark eyes flash with a momentarily look of panic, then it was replaced by a look of indifference again.

Just like the other time, Naruto vaguely remembered. But, as dumb as he was, he knew something.

He isn't Sai.

* * *

Sasuke wondered if the blonde in front of him had noticed something amiss; thank Kami-sama he could control his emotions well. Drat. The stupid brainless so-called best friend of his had already met Naruto.

Wait. When was the last time Sai had actually socialised with anyone? (Given that no one really wanted to go near him anyways.)

That was...that was...when he had asked him to go see that stupid girl Haruno had forced him to go to. And what did Sai actually say...? Something about cross-dressing fags and Naruko....Uzumaki...Naruko...

U-zu-ma-ki.

How the hell could he have missed this?!

There was only one surviving Uzumaki in this town, and that was the one standing right in front of him. And cross-dressing fags...he...wore a dress? What for?

Ah.

One word : Haruno.

She's the root of this mess, Sasuke thought savagely. And the root of all evil, too. That was probably why he didn't like girls anymore.

Sasuke turned back his attention to the blonde. Somehow, he had gotten the gist of it...or so he thought. That bitch, Sakura, she didn't have to do this to him! All he did was break her heart by not responding to her feelings...

The bowl of ramen was almost finished. Time for an escape.

"I'll see you later, Naruto." And he stalked out of the shop before Naruto could react in a not-so pleasant way - if he had actually pieced everything together. If.

"Sai is so going down," The youngest Uchiha muttered under his breath, all the while scowling at everything he passed. It was really weird, as it seemed as though only when at that ramen stall, his spirits would be lifted for no reason at all, and that after leaving it, he would go back to normal.

A small toddler burst out crying at the sight of his glare aimed at him.

Sai was so going to get it.

* * *

Well, Sai mused, it could have gone alot worse.

He took a sip of green tea and smiled at the scowling intruder. "Uchiha. Stop pulling that face. It'll make you even uglier than you already are. And your tea is getting cold."

Sometimes, Sai wondered what was so wrong about pointing out facts to others. Honesty was valued. But here, he didn't really think so. He told girls how they really looked like and that they were both fat, so they could just stop fighting and give him some peace.

Unfortunately, it didn't really work. Then, in some book found in the library, he realised that girls liked to be lied to.

Hence the conclusion : Women were ugly and weird creatures.

And sometimes, Sai really wondered if Uchiha Sasuke was in fact a woman, with all his PMS-ing mood swings and such. Quite violent.

And he was throwing a fit. As predicted.

And unfortunately (yet again) Sai was to be the victum of the Uchiha's fits. He was to be blamed really, but the look on the Uchiha's face was really, really hilrious.

He wondered if any of those girls would be scared off if they saw the Uchiha's flared nostrils.

* * *

**A/N: Eek! Sorry for the long waitXD School happened. Please review;) **


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.

A/N: I am soooo sorry for the long wait!!!D: Had a lotta crappy tests and stuff-.- anyways, enjoy:)

* * *

"A word with you, Haruno." The speaker didn't exactly sound pleased. Or unfamilar.

Twirling around gracefully(an art perfected over the many years) so that her red pleated skirt would whisk around gracefully too, with her matching red school tie and artfully flowing pink tresses, Haruno Sakura turned to face the dark-haired senior. She blushed slightly at the sight of him - her old infatuation with him never could really disappear.

"Y-Yes? Do you need anything, Sasuke-kun?" His scowl darkened at the last two words that left her mouth, and Sakura almost instantly regretted saying them. After all, he had told her never ever to call him by that digusting term - once they were over.

"I don't feel like playing games with you now, Ha-ru-no." He spat the last word with veagence. "And I don't take too kindly to feigning innocence either."

Uh, PMS much?

"R-Right. So...what'd you need?" Pleasedon'tfindoutpleasedon'tfindoutpleasedon'tfindout--

"Who the hell is Uzumaki Naruto?"

Ah, shit. Busted.

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto sat idly on his desk, his legs swinging to and fro. It was a free period since Kurenai-sensei couldn't come, and most of his classmates were either gossiping or playing with those paper aeroplanes that kept on hitting Shikamaru's head.

Just then, a platinium blonde rushed to his side and started squealing,"Naruto! You have got to see our yearbook from last year! I swear, Sasuke-kun's photo looks so damn cute!" with that, she forcefully grabbed his arm and practically dragged him across the classroom to where a bunch of giggling, simpering girls were.

Naruto tried to refrain from shuddering at the pink, shiny giggling things. For said pink shiny giggling things were not as innocent and might tear him to pieces if they noticed his 'unacceptable' behaviour. Let it never to be said that girls were not violent creatures.

Pushing the red hard cover yearbook towards him, Ino laughed delicately and flipped the thick pages a few times. Naruto could see glimpes of various years and people, like Rock Lee's face grinning stupidly at him, and then there was Kiba's outstretched tongue with canine's bared; he could also see Neji's photograph, him scowling as usual.

Freshman, Sophmore, Junior, and finally, the Senior section.

"Look! Kya!!! Sasuke-kun~!"

And an enlarged picture of a very familar dark-haired boy.

He blinked. Uchiha Sasuke, it said, below the photo in dark, printed bold letters. Somehow, his head hurt. It really did hurt a lot. Why? Why did he lie to me? Why?

He stared at the picture, with the person in it smirking faintly. Mockingly, as though he thought that the photographer wasn't good enough to take his picture.

"Naruto. You okay?" Asked a voice somewhere near his ear. Only the did he realise that he had been staring at the photgraph for a full minute without saying anything, and that the girls around him had stopped giggling and were looking at him rather curiously. "U-Uh," The blonde mumbled, and passed the book to someone else, breaking out of the pink circle.

"I have to go somewhere." Was all Ino heard as Naruto dashed out of the classroom, ignoring a few surprised yells. Ino shrugged to herself. They were about to be let off in a minute anyway, so it didn't really matter much if the blonde went off now.

* * *

Ah, baka-Naruto, you don't even know which classroom he's in! Naruto groaned and buried his hands in his face. This was such a stupid thing to do. By running up to the Seniors' level and trying to sneak pass each classroom without being detected. Already Tenten had spotted him from her own classroom and mouthed for him to go away.

Reluctantly, the blonde trudged back down to his classroom, only to hear the bell ring in time. Ah, he thought gloomily, this was one of the worst days ever, as hordes of students pushed and jostled with him, each wanting to run out of the school gates to freedom. And suddenly, a hand landed on his head.

The blonde squeaked, turning around to see the person. There he was, smirking faintly, just like in that photograph - Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto opened his mouth to say something, except that no words could come out. Sasuke nodded slightly and said,"I'll see you around, Naruto." and disappeared seconds later.

All Uzumaki Naruto could do was gape like some idiot after him in the middle of the hallway, and proving to some students that blondes _were_ stupid, after all.

He was so going to find Sakura and settle this. This was all her fault that his heartrate had suddenly sped up to an abnormal speed.

* * *

"-so are there any objections? No? Alright then, the dance is settled!" Haruno Sakura clasped her hands cheerfully at her fellow student councillors. "This dance will begin on the-"

_"Sakura-chan!"_

The pinkette groaned mentally as she saw her blonde best friend barge into the Student Council Conference room, and along with her, seven more pairs of eyes were staring at him too. "Naruto," She tried her best to muster a smile for him, even though her left eye was twitching. The blonde scratched his head nervously.

"Er...could I talk to you?"

"You already are."

"_Alone_." Ah. Did something with the Uchiha crop up again? Sakura was beginning to regret her decision on trying to get her poor blonde friend on getting a date with the said prissy Uchiha. Just a teensy-weensy.

Dragging the pinkette out of the room literally by arm, Uzumaki Naruto had the most horrified expression on his face ever since the time when she stuffed his teddy bear into the blender when they were four.

"....I..." The blonde hesitated.

"Well?" Sakura stared at him, her curiosity rising as she noticed a faint tinge of pink across Naruto's whiskered cheeks.

"...I think that I have a crush. On someone."

Ah. So that was it. Sakura didn't think that it'd be that long for baka-Naruto to realise this. And seeing on how pissed Sasuke was in the morning; the pinkette decided not to beat around the bush and get straight to the point.

"Well," She began in a rather tactful way that she liked to think that she was using,"if you like him, then go out with him." Short, sweet and simple. And the blond's reaction was really cute too.

His cheeks were suddenly stained with red, as he tried(and failed) to form coherrent words. "B-But..!!"

Sakura raised a delicate eyebrow. She had a feeling(call it a woman's intuition) that Naruto had already found out the switch. Ah, sweet, oblivious Naruto. The blond in question pursued his lips for a while, and then the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"I....that 'Sasuke' was a fake." He mumbled, staring at the square-grid pattern on the floor. Sakura smiled slightly. "I know," she said, urging the blond secretly to say more.

"I saw the real one instead."

The pinkette's eyes widened slightly at this piece of new information, her mouth pursued. "And then?" She asked, impatient and curious for more. Naruto heaved another sigh.

"...Well?" Sakura tapped her foot impatiently against the ground after a few moments of unbroken silence between them. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"......I dunno." Was the blond's simple reply as he bowed his head, ashamed of the confusing swirl of emotions and thoughts in his head. The pink-haired Student body president was quite irritated by the lack of response. She'd never thought that Naruto was _this_dense. Placing both of her small, delicate hands on the blond's shoulders,

she said quite firmly," There's going to be a dance on the week after next. I want you," here she jabbed a finger rather forcefully into the blond's chest,"to ask him out. No Buts." She added as Naruto opened his mouth to protest or say something equally stupid. The blond hung his head down in defeat. Whoever had thought women were delicate, gentle creatures were obviously having delusions and was sent to some unknown mental institute.

"Fine," He mumbled almost inaudibly. "I'll ask him."

But the pinkette wasn't quite done with him yet. "And confess. Confess to him on what you're feeling right now." The blond's eyes predictably almost buldged out of their sockets.

"W-What?!" He spluttered, going red(yet again).

"Do. It." Were Haruno Sakura's last words as she twirled around and slamed the door in the blond's face, ready to continue her meeting.

Naruto was left alone in the empty hall, still unable to get rid out the horrid blush out of his cheeks. "Dammit," He whispered to himself.

Unbenost to the blond and the pinkette, a lone figure some distance away snorted and walked away, apparently having heard enough of the conversation. Running a hand through his raven locks, Uchiha Sasuke wondered what on earth he should do now.


End file.
